Harlan "General" Worden receives a ball from the Port Huron Welkin Players.

The restorative powers of the nation's fledgling game were on display this Sunday past as the Rochester Grangers and Port Huron Welkins celebrated the return of spring with a splendid demonstration of vintage base ball. Dressed in their ivory hued flannels, the hometown ballists cut a collective dashing figure as they made their first appearance since Old Man Winter relinquished his icy grip. Speechifying Sachem Patrick "Barnraiser" McKay was on hand to greet the assemblage, pronouncing his Rochester charges ready for competition after a fortnight of supervised training exercises.

Bright was the mood as Umpire David "Doc" Howarth called the match to order under blustery conditions, reminding the respective Captains to eschew all manner of offensive personality and demeanor. Special guests amongst the lively throng included newborns Dylan "Buzzsaw" Cook and Allesandro "Little Fella" Prasatek, whose fathers were presented with commemorative bats to mark their sons' debuts. Local headmistress Connie Gullen paid a visit to append her classroom study on nineteenth century civility and etiquette. Owing to the prodigious long ball striking displayed in rehearsal, it was agreed by the Captains that wallops clearing the split-rail fence in right be declared foul ticks so as to avoid base balls finding a watery grave in the neighboring estuary.

The hometowners wasted little time reuniting hickory with horsehide, summoning eight strikers to the line in an opening salvo that tallied 3 aces. Rochester starting pitcher Scott "Chooch" Westgate was in fine form, helping put down a pair of would-be Welkin rallies in the early going as the suspendered stalwarts built a 6 to 1 advantage. The hurler's day proved short-lived however, as his conspicuous possession of lighted tobacco drew a fine of a day's wages from the Umpire. After delivery to the cranks of a suitable apology, the aforementioned pitchmeister chose to quietly retire from the match rather than suffer the continuing slings and arrows of discomitting censure.

Trailing in the match but much alive in spirit, the Welkins thereupon attempted some chicanery in hopes of catching their hosts off guard. After a basepath collision spilled the concealed girlish mane 'neath the cap of Mick "The Trick" Fisher, the visitors' handsome second sacker was undone in her efforts to infiltrate the manly game. Such was the furor over the discovery that several female cranks showed their support with hastily drawn placards declaring "WOMEN FOR BASE BALL."

The brouhaha prompted a spate of tongue- wagging amongst the participants, including Granger ballist Paul "Cookie" Kasmer who prophetically inquired: "What will they want next, the vote?"

By this juncture it was clear the Granger lumbermen had shaken off the lingering effects of winter's malaise, striking for an additional 12 aces in the middle innings to assume a commanding 18 to 1 advantage. Key blows in the uprising were delivered by Bob "Anvil" Wynne, Kelvin "Hawkeye" Rosonke and Josh "Lumberjack" Cook, who each deposited mammoth mortar shots into the distant outfield gorse. Fine defensive maneuvers by the visitors' "Chops" Fisher and "Plumbob" Arnold were all that kept the Granger ledger from even rounder expansion. As it was, a continuing bevy of insuperable smashes insured a steady Granger parade to the scorekeeper's bell. When tallykeepers Mary "Applesauce" Howarth and Deborah "Seamstress" Remer had finished their cyphering, the Rochesters found themselves on the upward side of an uneven accounting bearing scant correlation to the practiced efforts put forth by their Blue Water visitors.

Last Updated: 6/7/2008 7:02:48 PM EST